Worth The Wait

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

 

 

 

 

How did I get here?  This season in life was far from anything I had imagined. I questioned God's ability to step in and save the day.  Where was He?  Did He not see my brokenness, my weeping, my desperation?  What was keeping Him from coming to my rescue?

 

Days crawled into weeks and still no deliverance from my Savior.  I stayed diligent in my prayers and waited.  The waiting is hard.  As I write these words, I'm still in the waiting. Some days are easier than others but most days, like today, are brutally impossible. 

 

His patience is nothing I will ever understand. His "slowness" is incomprehensible.  Does He not see the urgency in my pain?  But still, He waits.  Me? I have very little patience.  Not willing to wait any longer, I set out to give Him a piece of my mind.  Not wanting to show my angst to my family, I drove into the dark of the night.  I had no destination.  I had no plan.  I just knew it was time. It was time to release all the pent up sorrow and confusion. The tears spilled quickly and my body shook with each uncontrollable sob. "Why?" I shouted.  "Why are you letting this happen to me?" "Why me? Why did you pick me? What did I do to deserve this?" There was a moment of silence as I waited.  I knew I wasn't going to hear a loud declaration. But I still waited.  And then, that small still voice said, "Because you were wrong and you need to fix your wrong."

 

I had no words to say.  I had nothing to interject.  He, the God of the universe, is never wrong, but me, I was wrong and there was no hiding from it or denying it.  My sobs slowed to a sniffle and after gathering myself I asked, "What now?" He didn't answer me at that moment.  His answer came later after I returned home and I sought the comfort of my Bible.  "God, I'm going to open my Bible. I'm going to open it randomly and I ask you to give me some kind of encouragement." I close my eyes as if that will somehow make it more magical and slowly open His Word. The highlighted words on the page read, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm32:8

 

Minutes later, His instructing began and my confidence returned.  The Living God sees me. He knows me. He watches over me.

 

I wait for His instruction and trust that His teaching will lead me to the deliverance I'm seeking.  It may not come today or tomorrow. It may not even come next month.  But it will come and when it does, I will be new.  And that, will be worth the wait.