An Imperfect Friend

 

An Imperfect Friend
 
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (NLT)
Proverbs 18:24

Over the years I have made many friends.  Some of those friendships still exist today!  And sadly, for one reason or another, some friendships have died. 

I have had the privilege of navigating my teenage daughter through some friendship woes. Having experienced seasons of friendship woes myself, who better than me to guide her through it!

I have learned many things over the years and the one thing that I feel important to share with my daughter is this: People are imperfect, even friends.

Unfortunately, we sometimes put unattainable expectations on our imperfect friends.  Our friends should always say the right things. They should always do the right things. They should know exactly how we feel.  They should boost our ego at the appropriate time.  They should never put another friend before us.  They should always be available for us.  They should never be better than us at anything. They should never be skinnier than us.  They should never be prettier than us. They should never display their annoying antics in our presence.  And they should NEVER make a mistake (because if they do, God help them!).

Let's face it, friendship comes with many conditions.  Until we, as teenage girls and women, realize that we sabotage our own support systems, we will never truly experience genuine friendship.

Proverbs 18:24
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (NLT)

A few years back, I learned a very important lesson from a women's conference: In order to keep our friendships whole, we must be willing to accept at least three glaring flaws or imperfections in our friends. And the reason for this is...we have many imperfections of our own.

As I get older and experience more of life, I see my own imperfections a lot more clearly.  I realize that I struggle in many areas and don't always win the 'Best Friend' award. Instead of recognizing where I could improve as a friend, I sometimes opt for the easy way out... and avoid the person altogether.  If I really want to deny my failures as a friend, I might even blame them for my avoidance. After all, it's easier to put the blame on them than to make some much needed changes in myself.  How terribly wrong is that!

Ladies, your friends will make mistakes.  Be certain of it. She will make mistakes because she is imperfect. Let us stop putting unattainable expectations on our girlfriends.  Lets expect them to hurt our feelings once in a while.  And when they do, lets forgive them.  Lets love them and encourage them.  Lets admire their gifts. Lets boost them up when they need boosting. Lets give them genuine compliments (After all, compliments are hard to come by for some of us).  And while we're at it, lets encourage our daughters to do the same!

Relationships take work; friendships are no different.  True friends stick it out, through good times and bad.  Until we admit that we are imperfect, we will never truly accept imperfections in others...not even our friends.


Tina